many woman and children suffer at the hands of a man who is supposed to protect them. This brought me back to my childhood days when my dad used to abuse my mother. I was way to young to understand but now that I am more grown up I understand everything my mom experienced to protect us. I cant remember much except when my mom tells me the story I can create a picture of what was happening in my mind. But I know one thing that always stood out to me was seeing my mom with two different colored eye lids. As a child I only thought that she was wearing make up and ran out of time so she couldn’t finish the other eye. Then later growing up and remembering the stories and the few images I came to the realization that my Father, a man who was supposed to protect my mother and his children, was the one who was hurting us. Then later on down the line I was years older and started dating myself. Unfortunately for me I had to experience what a lot of women do. A man who hits you. Being very scared and confused, not really knowing what was going on, the only thing I could think of was to lie and say my bruises were from some freak accident. I was just to ashamed to admit that they person I thought I loved can cause me so much bodily harm. So I began to make excuses for the bruises and cuts that began to appear and I would try to hide them as much as possible so no one could notice them and I wouldn’t have to answer any questions. Luckily I was able to get out of this situation before it became fatal for me and the child I am carrying. I still think about what could have been and what did I do to cause this to be brought upon me. I can come up with no answers. Only more questions….
You know that feeling when you love someone and u been thru everything with them, you accept all their bullshit, you love them unconditionally, you do everything you can for them, && you’ll give them your last, damn near give em the shoes on ur feet to walk across glass to protect them. you will risk your life for them… it feels good when they feel the same way about you.. but it fuckin hurts when they don’t feel the same. when they just use you because they can. they take advantage of you, make you think they care about you and make you feel special. Like you are on top of the world… only to tear you down to make you feel like shit.. to put someone before you, leave you high and dry.. then you begin wondering where did everything go wrong? but you will never know, because you don’t wanna accept the fact that they never really loved you like you loved them. then when its all said and done, you wish you could have all the fucked up times back, just so you can experience the good!